Long-time natural, Allilia, provides insight to transitioners debating about whether to BC or Let it Grow Before You Let it Go.
Why did you decide to go natural?
I would wait 13-15 week intervals between relaxers from age 12 (first mild relaxer) through age18. First semester of college, I realized Atlanta had many natural salons, although I never would go to a salon in Atlanta. I would get my hair done (trimmed, relaxed, and deep conditioned) at home in Mississippi over holiday breaks and just maintain it on my own over the course of time. I didn't trust new stylists that easily. That all changed. I had a friend first year in college who was from suburban Maryland. She always wore scrunch mousse to make her hair look naturally curly, and she thought I should try it. We were just wearing the mousse all the time trying something different. Eventually, I ended up just always wearing that mousse and straightening my own hair (because I never sought after a stylist freshman year). Later, I found out that I had been undergoing "the process of going natural" and didn't even realize it. So, by November of my first year, I'd stop receiving relaxers because I liked how my hair looked with the mousse over the roots. Later.. (second year in college) I realized that mousse was tearing it up because of the alcohol percentage.
Did you consider doing the "big chop"? Why didn't you?
I considered chopping my hair off. Yet, I did not. I spoke with different hair stylists and girls who'd worn their hair natural all of their lives, and some who hadn't, and comparing my texture, I decided against it. I kept it trimmed and eventually got layers, but never made a BC while "going natural."
How did you transition to natural hair?
It took me a full 9mos to fully turn over all natural. I kept it trimmed every 2 weeks, and deep conditioned every week. I wore straw sets allll the time. I also wore long spirals. I wore it straight here and there, but the majority of my process was over the summer in the South--not a great idea to wear straight "going-natural" hair a lot. I also just let it go sometimes, as in shampooing, conditioning and letting it air dry into its own style (just to see what it would look like). I had fun with it.
I would never cut my own hair. Ever. If I trimmed or cut anything, it was a stylist.
How did you manage the two hair textures during your transition?
I wore a lot of mousse (of different types), a lot of syrum for moisture, and different leave-in conditioners between deep conditionings. Eventually, and even now, I just leave "regular" conditioner (not leave-in) on my hair after shampooing because it absorbs it as if it's hair lotion. The conditioners (and shampoos) I use MUST always have the extra-moisture formula base. I have very thick hair and I need as much moisture as possible in order to tame the natural fly-aways, etc.
Was your hair easier to manage once you were 100% natural, and not having to deal with the two textures?It was easier to manage once all of the balancing was done, however, the process of caring for it has never really changed. I still deep-condition it (on my own, or at a salon) regularly (every 2 weeks now) and have it trimmed regularly (once a month).
Do you wish you had big chopped?
No, I do not wish I'd made the big chop. I appreciated watching it grow out into it's natural form. It was fun to wear different styled and test out many different curls (straw, spirals, etc) that I probably wouldn't have done so much had I kept a relaxed look.
Once your hair was 100% natural, did you feel liberated? Or regretful?
I definitely felt more liberated once it was all natural. I felt as if I were a part of a smaller, stronger community of women who were more in tune with themselves and their bodies and spirits. It's a great feeling. I felt more aware. I still feel that way. Although it's become a huge fad nowadays, it still has it's specialness to knowing you aren't allowing some "corporation" to pour chemicals (from who knows where) onto your scalp. I have been fully natural now 8 years. I still read natural hair articles, visit hair stores and boutiques seeing the "newest" products, and talk with natural friends about processes and products--more so products than processes. It's a community of its own. I even went to the natural hair expo in Baltimore a few months ago, and was a promotional natural hair model for a master stylist in Memphis for 2 years.
Is natural hair really all it's hyped up to be?
I believe it can be hyped up a little more than necessary, especially for the sacredness of the community of women who hold the liberation to a high esteem. I believe it is very cool to be natural, but I do not believe it's the end of the world for people who prefer to wear relaxer treatments. Natural hair is expensive, in that there are many nice products and lines that keep your hair in whichever natural form you choose to wear regularly--straight, curly, braided, locked, etc. I believe the different genres of natural hair also have communities of their own. I do not wear a lot of products that have been commercialized as "natural hair products," mainly because I don't have locks or braids (and I don't plan to). But the locks/braided community is larger in respect to that type of natural look. The hype around wearing 'regular' or relaxed styles versus simply curly and remaining all-natural is definitely hyped up, but mainly where it regards fear for the hair styles/texture looking so different from what your hairstyles were before. This is a huge consideration especially for women working amongst those "professional/corporate" environments that base status quotas on the physical persona as much as their business ethic. This is where sexism and race are implored upon more amongst women who choose to make a statement of purpose wearing natural hair (say, to an interview or meeting with the boss) instead of the "boring but socially accepted" pressed or straight hairstyles.
How did your friends, family, and colleagues react to your natural hair?Most of my circles loved the transition. Everyone was really surprised! All of my friends loved it. Of the guys I dated, those from natural communities (namely the North), were apt to it, not those from the South. It was a transition that they had to come to understand. My mother was my biggest challenge because she kept my hair nicely groomed in grade school, and not wild and curly. It was a transition, but once she realized just how much more versatile the hair was wearing it natural yet still being able to straighten it, she slowly came around.
Do you miss your relaxed hair now that it is a distant memory?
I do not miss relaxer treatments at all. There were moments while working out that I'd think of how much easier it'd be to manage if I had a relaxer, but I still didn't regret having it natural overall. Now, for me, it really is a distant memory because I can straighten and style my own hair just as well or better than some stylists, so working out is no biggie. I have managed ways to tame my curl pattern in a way that I feel is appropriate for a corporate or formal setting, and I also have the timing down pact in case I need to break out my flat irons.
In your opinion, which do you think is better: Big Chop or Let it grow before you let it go?
Let it grow before you let it go. It further liberates you to see your hair growing out of its "unnatural" shell and back into its natural state. It's beautiful. Embrace the real you! It really heightens the experience.
So ladies, natural hair is really what you make it. And if you're going to make it, you might as well make it fly!
